假設你是公司老板。某天一位電視制片人忽然湊上來，問你是否愿意花兩周時間，經營一家全然不同的企業。電視攝像機將對你全程追蹤，把你缺乏經驗和愚笨無能的模樣都暴露在鏡頭下。同時，另一家公司的老板也會在你辦公室里自由發號施令。這個陌生人或許會干得不錯，這樣一來你就會顯得差勁，又或許，他們會把局面弄得一團糟。你看這個主意怎么樣？

Suppose you are the boss of your company. One day a TV producer approaches you and asks if you would like to spend two weeks running a quite different business. TV cameras would follow you throughout, revealing your inexperience and ineptitude. Meanwhile, the other company's boss would be let loose in your office. Either this stranger would do well, in which case you would look bad, or they would wreak havoc. How about it?

這種提議本來最沒有吸引力，但居然說服了六個傻瓜接受，結果就有了《互換老板》這部三集的電視系列節目，目前正在英國熱播。在我所看過的令人捧腹的商業電視節目中，這真是最棒的一出。

Six suckers were persuaded to accept this most untempting of offers and the result is Boss Swap, a three-part series now airing in the UK and offering some of the best bits of toe-curling business telly I have ever seen.

這個系列劇模仿了去年風靡一時的節目《換妻》。在《換妻》中，兩位妻子互換了住宅、家務事和孩子。搞笑之處在于，互換的每一對都截然相反.例如，一個肥胖、懶散、抽煙上癮的邋遢鬼與一個苗條、挑剔、做家務成癖的人互換。

The series is modelled on Wife Swap, a big hit last year. In that, two wives swapped houses, chores and children. The gag was that each pair were opposites: a fat, lazy, chain-smoking slob would swap with a fastidious, svelte, house-proud obsessive.

《換妻》的交換范圍就差進臥室了，但《互換老板》膽子更大：兩人把職位全部互換。《換妻》純粹反映了一種偷窺心理，而《互換老板》則影射了一些真實的問題。

Whereas Wife Swap stopped short of the bedroom, Boss Swap is more daring: the two people swap every aspect of their jobs. And while Wife Swap was pure voyeurism, Boss Swap hints at some real issues.

在現實生活中，對做丈夫的來說，不會有陌生的新妻子走進自家廚房。但在公司里，出現陌生新老板的事卻總是發生。新老板某天突然就來了，大家指望他能給公司理出個頭緒，可他本人對公司業務一無所知。《互換老板》就讓我們看到，這樣做的風險可有多大。

In real life, husbands do not get strange new wives marchingsintos their kitchen. In companies this happens all the time. New bosses suddenly arrive one day, expected to sort out businesses about which they know nothing. Boss Swap shows us just how dicey this can be.

在上周播出的第一集里，S夫人原來是個模特，現在經營一家生產工業用門的工廠。這個人對工作總是指手劃腳，不太招人喜歡，而且喝香檳酒量很大。和她對換的老板比她更難伺候。他的工廠生產腳手架部件。

In episode one, last week, Mrs S is a former model who runs a factory that makes industrial doors. She is a tiresomely larger-than-life figure who drinks a lot of champagne and believes things should be done right. Her opposite number is rougher and readier. His factory makes scaffolding parts.

她一闖進他的工廠，就推行員工穿制服，提供加班費、醫療保健，并加強安全措施。他入主她的工廠后，則竭力提高門的產量，并開始給剛完成一筆銷售的推銷員塞20英鎊的票子。他認為，員工需要更輕松的工作環境，

She stormssintoshis place introducing uniforms, payment for overtime and health and safety measures. He, on the other hand, tries to step up production of her doors and starts slipping £20 notessintosthe hands of salesmen who have just completed a sale. He decides workers need a better recreation area and sticks up some girlie calendars.

兩個工廠的管理團隊都不喜歡新老板。他們的肢體語言明顯反映出人們熟悉的那種情緒：擔心、恐懼，又極其別扭。兩周后，兩位老板回到自己的公司，就立即取消了對方實行的變革措施。

Neither of the management teams likes their new boss at all. The body language is transparent: that familiar mixture of fear, horror and downright cussedness. After two weeks, the bosses return to their own companies and instantly dismantle the changes their counterparts have made.

這個令人遺憾的試驗提供了一些教訓：首先，哪怕老板是惡魔，也最好是你所了解的惡魔。其次，一個老板的管理方法在此地也許管用，但換個地方也許就不管用。第三，良好的工作關系非常寶貴。這種關系建立起來需要很長時間，但破壞它只消一瞬間。

The lessons from this sorry experiment are: first, better the devil you know. Second, a boss whose approach works in one place may find it does not work somewhere else. Third, good working relationships are precious. They take a long time to build up but can be destroyed in an instant.

這一切都表明，換老板不是個好主意，除非他/她真的是壞透了。這就是第二集在很大程度上要表現的情形。

It all suggests that a boss has to be really bad to make changing him or her a good idea - which was pretty much the scenario presented by the second programme.

李(Lee)經營一家廣告公司，布賴恩(Brian)則負責一家生產購物袋的公司。兩人進行了互換。李頭上抹的發膠太多，對他這個年齡的人來說實在有失體統。他成功的秘訣聽上去并不怎么鼓舞人心。“任何了解我的人都會說我喜歡做不同的事情。我不會在一件事上吊著，”他吐露道。布賴恩則是一名美國退伍兵，娶了老板的千金。“他真是隨和，我們多數人都認為他啥事也不干，”一位下屬這么說。

Lee, who runs an advertising agency, swaps with Brian whose company makes carrier bags. Lee wears more hair gel than is dignified for a man of his years and the secret of his success does not sound inspiring. "Anyone who knows me well would say I'm a package man. I don't go for one thing," he confides. Brian is an American ex-soldier who has married the boss's daughter. "He's so easy-going, most of us think he doesn't do anything," says an underling.

李與購物袋公司的人打得火熱。他推行了一些既簡單又受歡迎的措施，譬如設立意見箱，印刷小冊子，甚至還舉辦了一次晚會。他賣掉了一臺破損的機器，與員工一道去打保齡球。兩周后送他走時，員工都很難過。

Lee goes down well with the carrier bag people. He does some easy, popular things such as introducing a suggestions box and a brochure and even holds a party. He sells a machine that is broken. He goes bowling with the staff. After a fortnight, they are sorry to see him go.

布賴恩則給廣告公司帶來了災難。他躲在辦公室里空談安全措施。“我吃不準‘和大家打成一片’是不是個不錯的管理工具，”他為自己辯解道。

Bryan is a disaster at the advertising agency. He hides in his office and flaps about security measures. "I'm not sure 'fitting in' is a great management tool," he says defensively.

這個故事的教訓是：首先，如果原來的老板很無能，新來的老板就很容易駕馭公司。其次，如果老板受人歡迎，那么他們的變革就容易些。第三，購物袋公司的老板管理“創意”人員不那么容易，反之則不然。

The lessons here are: first, if the old boss is useless, the new guy is going to have an easy ride. Second, it is easier for bosses to make changes if they are popular. Third, carrier bag bosses are at a disadvantage with "creative" people. The reverse is not true.

第三集是所有劇集中最叫人吃驚的。一家時髦的房地產經紀公司與一家舊車交易行交換了老板。

The third programme was the most alarming of the lot. A swanky firm of estate agents swapped bosses with a used car dealer.

房產經紀公司的老板是個夸夸其談的笨蛋。“我愛錢，錢越多越好。我拼命工作，我期望手下也拼命干活。”在舊車交易行，員工根本無法接受他的態度，因為這里的政策是：上班遲到沒關系，只要能把舊車賣出去就行。

The estate agent was a flashy idiot. "I love money. The more money the better. I work my nuts off. I expect my guys to work their nuts off too." This attitude went down worse than badly at the car dealership,swheresthe policy was to rollsintoswork late and sell cars cheaply.

他試圖讓自己的新團隊清晨6點在健身房集合，并對他們集中精力工作的情況評價一番。與此同時，舊車交易行的老板則強迫房地產經紀公司的員工進行心理測試，并根據測試結果解雇了原老板的妻子。“我已經決定，你這個職位純屬多余。如果可以，請你回家，我們要裁掉這個崗位了，”他這種愚蠢的說法真讓人吃驚。

He tried to get his new team to meet at the gym at 6am and talk about how focused they were. Meanwhile the car boss forced the estate agents to take psychometric tests - on the strength of which he fired the boss's wife. "I've decided to make your position redundant. If you could go home please, we'll take it from there," was the astonishingly inept way he put it.

兩周后，這兩個可怕的家伙都回到自己的崗位。同事看到他們時居然都還挺高興。

After a fortnight, both these horrible individuals returned to base, swherestheir colleagues seemed strangely pleased to see them.

所有這三集節目中最令人沮喪的是，這六個老板都未能從中學到任何東西。這真讓人遺憾，因為對他們來說，這本該是受用一生的學習經歷。

The most depressing thing about all three episodes is that none of the six bosses was able to learn a single thing. That is a shame, as it surely should have been the learning experience of a lifetime.

人們常說，對變革的抗拒主要來自機構的低層。但《互換老板》顯示，老板真是不可救藥地固守自己的方式。他們在新公司中照搬用原公司的做法，并清除一切擋道的人。他們根本不打算學習新東西。

It is usually said that the main resistance to change comes from those further down organisations. Yet Boss Swap showed that the bosses were terminally stuck in their ways. In their new companies they applied the same approach they had in the old one, mowing down anyone in their way. None was prepared to learn at all.

在《換妻》中，一些妻子至少還在口頭上說，她們日后也許會盡量多做點家務事、少看些電視。

At least in Wife Swap some of the wives paid lip-service to the idea that in future they might try doing a bit more vacuuming and watch a little less telly.

lucy.kellaway@ft.com

lucy.kellaway@ft.com

譯者/江潔